Tim W.'s Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

The Vault
The Vault (2017)
18 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

The fair number of jump scares (forr which it gets the stars) don't make up for the piss poor detailing and a plot ending you can see coming from a mile away. Twist? What twist? And what police station has a cold case investigation pinned on it's wall 30 years after the crime? One that needs a plot contrivance, clearly. The only one who got away with the money here was James Franco, thanks very much.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
19 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

Titanically pointless sequel to an exhausted franchise. The usual glamorous, implausible violence, ridicukous monsters (the undead and the collapse of civilisation not enough?) and wafer thin plot, it's the kind of movie that gives blockbusters a bad name. Stars awarded for the fantastic reimagining of the cityscapes, but otherwise it's just more of the same old: the good guys stay ahead of the all powerful evil corporation. Fortunately for our heroes tnere is one thing the Umbrella Corporation cannot do, and that's hot a barn door at forty paces. Just think what they could have made with all this money.

The Super
The Super (2018)
19 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Absolute crap. A combination of Single White Female and Sixth Sense (but nowhere near as good) and the worst kind of schlock horror garbage. The premise is ludicrous, the fight scenes are poor beyond belief and the plot is dreadful. Thete is no plausible explanation of the events and the end suggests a follow up but I dearly hope not.

Noah
Noah (2014)
19 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

It's not your average religious movie, that's for damn sure. More a sci-fi interpretation of the bible - bifi, if you will - with some Lord of the Rings chicked in for good mrasure. In keeping with previoys God-bothering blockbusters, it's both massively overlong and up it's own arse, as if telling a bible yarn makes it beyond reproach. Still, you don't have to be religious to appreciate the story or the ctacking CGI. Lots of modern paradigms on show, doing that thing that modern religion tries to do and reconcile science with faith and it's all very environmentally hard core. Decent performances, with the exception of Ray Winstone who should never have been allowed in front of camera ever (I'll give him credit for Scum and Sexy Beast but only because they are the marriage of film and Ray Winstone just being himself, as opposed to him being Ray Winstone in this or the American Civil War). Worth a watch but hatd going. Once the flood hits it's downhill all the way, engagement wise.

Transformers: Age of Extinction
19 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

It's Michael Bay, so all the money is on display, invested in effects rather than plot or script. If only he could limit his films to fast paced and short duration. Instead, it goes on and on for nearly 3 hours. And if their is a creepier cinematic father/child relationship than the one between Wahlberg and his porn star daughter I've yet to see it. Bleurgh.